One of the epic arguments in my childhood home was the issue of the up or down toilet seat. My mother and sister both lost their temper whenever they found the toilet seat up. As a result, I have always believed that women are crazy because of this obviously irrational fear of a raised toilet seat lid. I could never wrap my head around it. Was it some strange aesthetic preference? Just to make it easier on them when it was their urination time? I felt it was a willful display of avarice over a completely irrelevant detail of life. The intensity of their disdain for it was… quite something.
But today, after fumbling for my toothbrush and dropping my it into the open toilet bowl, I understand now why a closed toilet seat is really optimal.

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